Let us be blunt: it is hard to define cool in any generation, but easier to say what cool is not.
Republicans are not cool . . . and lose elections when they try as California Republicans discover every so often. (The belief that “Arnold” is an exception . . . and that as a “movie star” he was “cool” is a sign that you are not, in fact, cool . . . or have not been since the eighties.) 
Britain is not cool . . . and the slogan “Cool Britannia” was a sign that Blair’s Britain was not going to work out as he hoped.
Having a baby is not cool . . . no “with it” person knows the meaning of “transition.”
There has never been: a cool Mormon, Evangelical, traditional Christian of any kind, or Orthodox Jew.
Bands are not cool . . . and band teachers who try to make them cool always become absurd in the effort.
Rodeo riders are not cool . . . and it is hard to imagine a cowboy caring. (”Well,” he chewed his words like a cud and spat them out at last, “I don’t know.” when asked about cool and cowboys.)
Giant floats made out of flowers are not cool . . . unless one is alive in the 1930’s.
The Rose Parade is not, and cannot be, cool as it contains every known uncool thing and is watched by uncool people groups . . . it is old, traditional, run by people born in California, watched by folk who think George Lucas is “hip” (”Dude! Ewoks!”), and is watched by families with more than one child.
There is one thing I know about cool (having never been, but having observed from the bleachers): Nothing is less cool than an uncool thing trying.
The Rose Parade has been a constant in our house . . . and is mildly entertaining. You can watch it while blurry eyed from the night before . . . and miss nothing.
A parade is filled with B-list or once-was-a stars . . . that aging boomers can recall fondly saying, “He looks pretty good, how old is he?”
One comes in and out with breakfast . . . or the Slim-fast shake of the New Year . . . and comments on the floats or hatred of Star Wars I. It is all traditional, happy, and safely dull.
Parades are about tradition . . . are only fun live . . . but on television derive their meaning by their existence. The Rose Parade is not profound, not important, not even very entertaining (unless you are there), but what is . . . is old by California standards. It has been for most of our lives (and that is the measure of old in California)!
This year the Rose Parade on KTLA tried to be “up to date” and managed to be merely dated without the glories of tradition.
Like some English cathedral installing power-point screens, they lost the beauty of the event and gained . . . well the ignomy of looking like geeks marching in Storm Trooper suits they built themselves hoping to relate (in this manner) to the “kids.”
In a move of stunning ignorance regarding their own product, KTLA up-dated their booth with a younger announcer . . . ditching their former host Stephanie Edwards.
I watched the result and it was not good.
Stephanie Edwards was an attractive and perfect personality for the event. Heaven knows she was not cool . . . but instead seemed sincere, cared about the traditions of the parade (having made a few of them), and plainly enjoyed the work. She aged in a lovely manner . . . more attractive at (gentleman don’t discuss the number) than most of us are in our twenties . . . unless one is stupid enough to never develop mature tastes in beauty.
Parades are not Plato, but if they must be consumed, then they need hosts that cherish them . . . not hosts mailing it in to do their corporate duty. Stephanie Edwards loved her job, her replacement is as forgettable as last Christmas’ “Barbie” . . . easily replaced by next years plastic consumer driven plaything.
Stephanie Edwards is Disneyland . . . Michaela is Magic Mountain trying to be California Adventure.
Parade commentary (!) is more like radio than television as the personality hardly ever appears on camera. Edwards “replacement” Michaela Pereira has other work she plainly wishes she was doing (and her mud-colored clothing matched her personality on camera), is wit and banter impaired, and appears to know nothing about everything.
A good parade is like a well-executed liturgy and Ms. Pereira is the Vatican II of liturgists.
She reads the cue cards as if she is reading cue cards . . . and plainly never was hooked on phonics.
Our house did a fearful thing at some points in the telecast . . . we paid close attention to what Pereira was saying . . . the death of any good parade host . . . since what she was saying was equally wooden and absurd. One had to listen . . . as one had to watch “Light Magic” at Disneyland (still called “Light Tragic” by park goers) or sit all the way to the end of Santa Claus III.
The new host-ette combined a dollop of condescension at being forced into the whole ridiculous thing with a dullard’s sparkling rejoinders giving the watcher the weird feeling that he was being laughed at by his inferior. . . in short she managed to rain on our parade.
KTLA should bring back Stephanie Edwards and lose the idea of a hip Rose Parade. Michaela is not cool, doesn’t like parades, and is hard to endure for hours.
(Just for good measure I am clear that forty-something philosophers who blog and like Star Trek, Buffy, and Plato are not cool. I am Victorian, not trendy.)