Michael Jackson just died, so I was listening to some of his songs in memory of him. Despite his weirdness, he was the consummate performer—his dance moves and songs still dazzle. When I heard the song, “Black or White” (and I know that he got mocked a lot for not knowing himself whether he wanted to be black or white!) I reflected on the fact that the lyrics “It don’t matter if you’re black or white” sounds politically correct and all-encompassing, but it actually still leaves out most of the earth’s population. Brown and yellow people are far more the majority in the world than black and white! (And despite the fact that white people are not white any more than I am yellow, or black people are black, let’s use these terms just for the sake of convenience). And today, though the face of America has long been just black and white, Hispanics are the largest minority in the U.S. (they are already the majority in Los Angeles), and Asians are the fastest-growing minority in the U.S. Though our President is currently half black and half white, let’s not forget the “forgotten” minority voices out there!
As an Asian American, I grew up living a dual life of being accepted by both black & white, and rejected by both, sometimes simultaneously. For example, I remember watching TV and movies as a child, and they always had one token minority—and that person was always black. The reasoning behind that was, “Well Allen, you’re represented, because we have a minority person in the show.” As if a black person represents Asians! Now, of course, there are more Asian representatives in movies and TV, but notice that they tend to almost always be martial artists or gangsters. And have you ever seen an Asian male be the romantic lead in a movie? The Asian male is, strangely, usually emasculated despite the fact that we “all know kung-fu.” Whereas, the exoticism that is accorded to Asian females lends them a more acceptance in the mainstream, ironically.
Then there is affirmative action. There was a firestorm of debate when universities such as UC Berkeley started putting a quota on Asians. When the total enrollment of such universities hit as high as 40%, the rationale behind the cap was: “Asians represent only 4% of the U.S. population and we are letting in 10x the national percentage!” But this meant that a lot of Asians whose GPA and test scores qualified them for acceptance into these universities were rejected, whereas not only black & Hispanic, but also whites, who had lower numbers were accepted! Reverse discrimination? This is a side of affirmative action that often goes unnoticed, especially if the conversation is always just white & black.
Asian Americans are usually accepted more by whites than blacks or Hispanics are, and my guess is that the color of skin, the socio-economic class, and the educational level, all have a lot to do with it. As the “model minority,” though, we sometimes get the short end of the stick both ways. Imagine a parent who has two children, and says to the less “successful” one, “Why can’t you be like your sibling who always behaves well, and gets good grades in school,” etc. Of course the child who is berated would not only begrudge their sibling, but their parent for making the comparison! Well, that’s what happens when white people tell black & Hispanic people, “Look, why can’t you be just like Asians who immigrated here with nothing and still managed to live out the American dream—they did it, why can’t you?” Not only is the paternalistic attitude horribly condescending, but the resentment flows not just toward the whites who say such things but to the Asians for giving the whites the ammunition to say those unfair things!
White people, to their credit, usually want to be accepting of ethnic minorities (personally, I don’t know of too many out-and-out racists), but they often find closeness with different cultures to be uncomfortable. This is natural for anyone, but because Asians tend to be easily assimilated into white culture, whites find Asians to be an easy way to assuage their conscience (“Hey look, I hang out with minorities!”) without having the cultural dissonance that happens when they spend time with blacks or Hispanics. This is also why a lot of white Americans love traveling to Japan or Europe (you get exotic cultural differences without the ‘dirtiness’ or ‘poverty’ that comes with traveling to, say, South Asia or Africa or Latin America). It’s a sanitized cross-cultural experience.
As I said, sometimes I feel black and sometimes I feel white. The fact that I’ve been educated in the top universities in the world (Yale and Oxford) means that I can hold my own with the biggest Anglophiles and the most educated and privileged elites anywhere. I think my resumé alone will afford me respect wherever I go. And yet there is the unchangeable nature of my face, which will always make people think of me as a foreigner. One of my least favorite questions is, “Where are you from?” Usually the real intent behind that question is, “What’s your ethnic background?” but people never ask me that question. So when they ask, “Where are you from?” I am intentionally vague with them just to mess with them because I hate that question. I say, “California.” And they persist, “No, I mean, where are you from?” And I reply, “Los Angeles.” And then when they ask again, “No, that’s not what I mean…” and I will reply, “Oh, you mean China? Sorry, never lived there, I was born in the U.S. and I speak English better than I do Chinese” (and if I really want to be cheeky, I’ll say, “And I speak English better than you do!”). Do I ask a white person what country in Europe they’re from? Or a black person what country in Africa they’re from? But always, the question to me is, what country in Asia I am from! And it’s not just white people who ask me such questions. I remember when I was studying in England, I met an Indian guy (from India) who asked me where I was from. When I replied, “Los Angeles,” he said, “You don’t look like you’re from Los Angeles!” I knew what he was thinking, and I almost said to him, “You’re right—I don’t look Hispanic!” but instead said more tactfully, “What do you think a person from L.A. looks like? We’re not just all black or white!” And I remember an African American man who worked at New York’s JFK airport—and when I asked him, “Where do I find the rental cars?” he replied, “You see those phones over there? Just pick it up and say, ‘Hi, I’m Mr. Wong and I need a car’ and a shuttle will come get you.” !!! And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had white people saying to me as I walk by, “Ching ching chong chong chang chang!” or “Go back to the country where you came from!” or “I’m glad my country beat your country in the war!” (umm… my ethnic background is Chinese, not Japanese…) Would a white person dare to say something similarly derogatory to a black person?! Then why is it so acceptable to pick on Asians? Probably because we’re stereotyped as “passive.” This kind of thing just infuriates me! I can continue regaling you all day with the ridiculous statements I’ve been subjected to. I know they probably sound very humorous to you, but hateful and hurtful words, even tossed out nonchalantly, still really sting badly.
Though there are advantages to being Asian (I can travel in many parts of the world which have resentment against white people and not feel personally threatened), there are many disadvantages too. Being seen as a perpetual foreigner means that there is nowhere where I truly feel “at home.” When I am in the U.S. people think that I am from elsewhere. When I go to China, people can tell that I’m not a Chinese national by the way I speak or dress, and they ask me where I’m from. If I say, “The United States,” they say, “You’re not a real American” because I’m not white, and then they will only want to talk to my white friend who is traveling with me because they want to meet a “real” American. Perhaps because I am not accepted anywhere, I think of myself as a citizen of the world. I like to travel to many places because I don’t truly feel 100% accepted anywhere, so I might as well be nomadic.
From the Asian perspective, I think one of the greatest travesties is our lack of ethnic identity once we move to the U.S. The same factors that cause us to so easily assimilate are the same ones that cause us to become “white-washed.” Common words used among Asian Americans are “twinkie” or “banana” (someone who is yellow on the outside but white inside—in other words, an Asian who has “sold out” to become white—I’ve been called a twinkie by many Asian Americans!) and conversely, “FOB” (Fresh Off the Boat) for Asians who still speak with a thick accent and can’t seem to fit into mainstream American society. [We also call white people who have an Asian fetish “eggs” for the opposite reason as “twinkie”; and there is also “coconut” or “Hostess cupcake” for brown/black people who think they’re white]. This confusion about whether we do, or do not, want to be white, means there is a lack of concrete identity for us. If you go to a black or Hispanic church, you will see their culture evident in the songs they sing, the way they preach, and the way they interact with one another. If you step into an Asian American church, it often is like walking into a Calvary Chapel except for how the people look! It is just like a white church. There are no cultural distinctives, which is really a shame.
Race in America is obviously a very complicated thing, and I have merely touched on a few issues here from an Asian American perspective. Perhaps this can spark some more dialogue in this area, but let me implore you to make discussions on race a multidirectional conversation, not just a two-way talk between blacks and whites!
