Recent research has shown that ten percent of the population is suffering from a serious disorder: Political Addiction Syndrome (PAS). In one study PAS accounted for 6 trillion dollars in lost wages and productivity. Some scholars blame PAS for the present financial turmoil. Over the last eight years approval of questionable mortgages soared as many PAS sufferers, up to twenty-percent, were working on diaries on the Daily Kos at Freddie instead of doing due diligence on applications. “Freepers” at WaMu may have contributed to the death of the firm by posting attacks on the diversity hiring awards won by the savings and loan. This may have dispirited executives lowering their self-esteem enough to bring on bad decision making.
Are you one of their number?
From the Center of PAS Control comes ten warning signs that can alert you that you may be a PAS sufferer. Others may apply this to the loved one in their life and realize the truth. As Oedipus learned the truth is the first step to blindness, misery, death, and destruction, but it also is better than, well, it is at least the truth.
This list is not meant to judge the addict, but to get him help.
Ten Signs of PAS
1. You have ever refreshed the Corner within five minutes of opening the site.
2. You know Andrew Sullivan’s name AND have worried about his sanity WHILE refreshing his site.
3. You read both Daily Kos and Free Republic.
4. You have thoughts about robopolling.
5. You know the RealClearPolitics McCain-Obama spread for the last three days.
6. You know Hugh Hewitt supported Mitt Romney AND you know Hugh’s favorite football team.
7. You have wondered if Powerline and Talking Points Memo both teamed up to fight Gamera and Gyaos who would win.
8. You have heard McCain tell any story more than four times and have heard Obama say “Bush” more than twenty times.
9. You think Tina Fey looks like Sarah Palin only less attractive AND only heard of Fey when she started impersonating Palin AND have never watched Saturday Night Live except on political sites for the political sketches.
10. You listen to a Joe Biden speech instead of watching the baseball playoffs OR you laugh knowingly when “coal miner” and Joe Biden are mentioned together for two different reasons related to two different elections.
If you have seven or eight of these warning signs, then call your local PAS physician soon. PAS can be treated, but therapy must begin before the election ends or the news withdrawal can be fatal. In 2004 R.C. of Fontana California laughed off his PAS only to be struck dead when he discovered no polling results leading the first half hour of Hannity and Colmes the day after the election.