Thanks to Dean Barnett at the site of the Blog Master Hewitt I have seen, like Ahab scanning the horizon for the Great White Whale, the focus of the rest of my life. Dean. Dean. Dean. You are so plainly right . . . the right is not right, but the left is right and the Goracle, winner of Oscars and true President, is beyond left or right.
To argue with him is to be a Denier . . . and denial, partisan denial (and denial my dear friends is always partisan) is a sign of the Truth of the Goracle.
There is but one Planet Earth and the Goracle is its Prophet.
Mock me if you must, but do not mock the Goracle who with a tender jiggle of his waddle will beam a cherubic smile of understanding on you in any case.
I shall follow the Goracle wherever he leads.
I realize now that up to this point my life has been consumed with living for others when it could have been, nay gentle reader, should have been consumed with Saving the Planet in the Name of the Goracle.
I have, therefore written (with apologies to Cranmer) this little liturgy for Even Song on the Feast Day (the octave Day of Earth Day) of the Goracle:
At the beginning of Evening Song for the Feast Day of the Goracle the Minister (whoever she/he/it might happen to be) shall read with a loud voice (unless she is differently abled in which case it shall be signed or some other means of communication not limited to those requiring physical bodies) some one or more of these Sentences of the Goracle that follow. And then he shall say that which is written after the said Sentences.
The Word of the Goracle:
After Earth in the Balance was published, I had a personal encounter with that verse from the Bible, “Would that mine adversary had written a book.” Adversaries, some of whom I suspect haven’t read it, love to hate this book and attack it as “too environmental.” I welcome that. I believe the environment should be a central issue in the year 2000, because, like it or not, the environment will be a fateful issue in the next decade and the new century.
DEARLY beloved citizens of this planet, the Goracle moveth us, in sundry places, to acknowledge and confess our manifold partisan failures to hear the Goracle and wickedness committed through “free markets” to this our only planet; and that we should not dissemble nor cloak them before the face of our loving and condescending Goracle; but confess them with an humble, lowly, penitent, and obedient heart; to the end that we may obtain forgiveness of the same, by his infinite goodness and mercy.
And although we ought, at all times, humbly to acknowledge human causation for all changes in the weather, up to and including snow before a key Packer’s game; yet ought we chiefly so to do, when we assemble and meet together to render thanks for the great benefits that we have received at the Goracle’s hands, to set forth his most worthy praise, to hear his most up-to-date Word, and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary to save the planet even if it kills millions of the unworthy humans living on it. Wherefore I pray (unless you are differently God-abled in which case say “I ask”) and beseech you, as many as are here present, to accompany me with a pure heart, and knowing even the life of a single mosquito is worth more than the lives of millions of human beings , saying after me;
A general Confession to be said of the whole Congregation after the Minister, all kneeling unless differently-legged . . . in which case they may stand or sit unless that too proves offensive to them in which case they may do as they please.
Loving Goracle; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like stupid Republicans. We have followed too much the devices and desires of the neo-Cons. We have offended against thy view of science.
We have left undone those things which we ought to have done by failing to use ecological sensitive paper products; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done every time we eat fast food, shop at Walmart, or otherwise have a good time; And there is no health in us for our lack of consumption of tofu.
But thou, Goracle, be nice to us, because we shall buy your products. Spare thou them, O Goracle, who confess their faults and change their party registration. Restore thou them that are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in 2000 when in our error almost half of us rejected you.
And grant, O most merciful Goracle; That we may hereafter live under Pelosi, Reed, and you, dear Goracle, because it would be groovy. Amen.
The Absolution or Remission of sins against the planet to be pronounced by the words of the Goracle alone:
“To warn of the dangers is not to despair of the solutions. Most of all, this book (being a quote from Earth in the Balance) is a call to action and hope. Whether our purpose is to preserve the simple pleasure of fishing in a mountain stream on an autumn morning or the simple security of knowing that our children’s drinking water is safe - to save an endangered species, an endangered wilderness, or an endangered earth - we have it in our power to restore the earth’s balance before the growing imbalance inflicts its greatest potential damage on our children and grandchildren. Today the human species is the only one with the self-knowledge and the capacity to protect its own future.
Then the Minister shall kneel, and say with the People these words of the Goracle: the people also kneeling, and repeating it with him.
Our challenge now, which requires the education of us all and the raising of our collective awareness on a global basis, is to restore and save the earth even as we add still more members to the human family. This will not be easy or simple; there will be setbacks, and fierce resistance from those who profit from pollution.
Then likewise he shall say,
O Goracle, we hear the challenge.
Answer. And raise our collective awareness.
Priest. O Goracle, may this be on a global basis.
Answer. As we add still more members to the human family.
Here, all standing up, the Priest shall say these words of the Goracle,
; This has to become not the policy of one or two administrations but a permanent commitment of the whole nation - to make as many new deposits as we can in the national bank of our public lands.
Answer. Nor can we forget the second half of the equation: where we permit the commercial use of public lands, we must no longer give away their treasures. The public must get a fair return.
Priest. Remember the Election of 2000.
Answer. The Pain of Which Brought Forth the Goracle.
Then shall be said or sung these words from the Goracle in order as they be appointed.
The Song of the Goracle.
(To the Tune of “This Land is Your Land”)
Now the innovative
must become the usual;
we must continually act
before crisis hits,
before a species is
on the edge of extinction,
to safeguard habitats that are essential
not just for one or two creatures
but for the whole
life web
of the ecosystem.
Then a Viewing of a Segment from the Oscar Winning Film of the Goracle, as it is appointed. And after that a section of the Passionate Concession Speech With Its Promise of Hope of the Goracle in 2000:
“Some have asked whether I have any regrets and I do have one regret: that I didn’t get the chance to stay and fight for the American people over the next four years, especially for those who need burdens lifted and barriers removed, especially for those who feel their voices have not been heard. I heard you and I will not forget.”
Then shall be sung or said a section of the Democrat Party Platform of 2000, by the Minister and the people standing affirming our hope in the Goracle.
If America is to secure prosperity, progress, peace and security for all, we cannot afford to go back. We must move forward together and we must not leave anyone behind.
For eight years, the Democratic Party’s new thinking has helped America reach unparalleled heights of prosperity, progress, and peace. Now, we say that this is the time to move forward - not to go back. Now, we say that Democrats have just yet begun to fight for a better America and a brighter future. Now, we say to America, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
And after that, all devoutly kneeling: the Minister first pronouncing with a loud voice,
It is obvious that the Goracle was right.
Answer. We get it now.
Minister. We would change our vote if we could.
Goracle, we blew it.
But out of your pain came a film, the salvation of the Planet.
Goracle, thanks for sticking with us.
All: You aint seen nothing yet.
Then the Minister, Clerks, and people shall say the Goracle’s recent words before a hostile Congress.
“Our world faces a true planetary emergency. I know the phrase sounds shrill, and I know it’s a challenge to the moral imagination.”
Then the Minister standing up shall say,
O Goracle, as it was with the zinc mine in Tennessee.
Answer. You are above us in what you do.
Priest. As it was with your appropriately huge house.
Answer. What is good for thee is not good for me.
Priest. Continue to fly in private jets.
Answer. And make thy chosen people joyful with the train.
Priest. O Goracle, help us to embrace the double standard.
Answer. That would prevent thee from multiplying your kids inheritance.
Priest. Give peace in our time, O Goracle.
Answer. Because there is none so much like Neville Chamberlain as thee.
Priest. O Goracle, keep us from the SUV.
Answer. And take not the hybrid from us.
The Second Collect, The Future as seen by the Goracle:
“One of our greatest hopes is young people, those who will inherit the earth and the challenge of restoring its balance - the ones who will live long enough to know surely whether this peaceful battle for the planet is finally being won.”
The Third Collect, for Aid against all Perils.
The headwaters of our rivers and streams, the sources of our drinking water, are largely in our public lands. Our stewardship must respect all these uses and not let our federal lands be misused, as they often were in the past, as the exclusive domain of corporations intent on extracting resources.
In Quires and Places where they sing here followeth the Anthem.
A Prayer for the Goracle’s Majesty.
We the People in order to form a more perfect union; Most heartily we beseech everyone to favour and to behold our most gracious Sovereign Goracle; and so replenish him with even more wholesome food, that he may grow ever larger. Endue, sovereign people, the Goracle plenteously with gifts from corporations; grant him in health and wealth long to live; strengthen him that he may vanquish and overcome all his enemies; and finally, after this life, like Elvis may his estate prosper even more. Amen.
For Democrats Everywhere:
Jefferson, Kennedy, and Roosevelt (Franklin and not Teddy), but not Bryan (who was too religious); Send down upon the leaders of the Party, and all of us members committed to their charge, government health care; and that they may truly please thee, pour upon them much welfare they have not earned. Amen.
From the Goracle at Concession.
As for the battle that ends tonight, I do believe as my father once said, that no matter how hard the loss, defeat might serve as well as victory to shape the soul and let the glory out.
Here endeth the Order of Even Song for the Feast Day of the Goracle.
